where this media is used as an entertainment activity
for each other when they are far apart.
Distance in a relationship can reassess the
behavior of a couple. One statement from the source
stated that couples become more attentive when they
are far apart so that they reap positive responses; for
example, communication becomes good and
consistent, and attention given to each partner is also
more than when they are close. The higher the
intensity of communication, the more positive the
quality of the relationship will be indirectly. The
quality of this relationship is then used as a good
foundation for a relationship by increasing a sense of
openness, empathy, mutual support, positive
attitudes, and equality. This aligns with Nastiti's
research (Nastiti & Wismanto, 2017), citing Dhal's
statement that in commuter marriage, couples make
them stronger, equal participation, commitment, and
greater mutual Trust than couples who do not have
long-distance relationships.
On the other hand, a different source explained
that distance has another impact on their partners.
They feel that their partners do not have much free
time to exchange news since they are required to be
separated by distance due to work demands. This will
undoubtedly have a negative impact, such as
misunderstandings that lead to conflict.
This is in line with Mijilputri's research
(Mijilputri, 2014), which identified that obstacles in
long-distance communication can cause negative
thoughts and misunderstandings that will result in
conflict. The obstacles in long-distance
communication need to be clarified, namely,
misunderstanding of messages received between
communication actors, especially couples who should
have high communication intensity. This also
happened to other sources in this study. There needed
to be a better understanding of messages received
about whether there was a decision that had to be
resolved immediately. Moreover, the difference in
distance and time is a factor in misunderstanding
communication, which leads to conflict. Conflict
manifests in anger, quarrels, aggressiveness,
violence, and hatred. This conflict is like a coin with
two sides; first, conflict can cause revenge, hostility,
separation, and even divorce. Second, conflict can
lead to mutual understanding, getting closer, and
respecting each other (Igbo & Awopetu, 2015).
In this study, conflict occurs due to ineffective
communication through a medium. Informants
revealed that the lack of intimacy in married life
sometimes brings negative influences, such as
suspicions between the two parties. This is due to the
different busyness of the couples, which can affect the
quality and time of communication between the
couples.
Commuter-marriage couples of the adjusting type
are at risk of experiencing problems such as
frustration, loneliness, and excessive anxiety. In
contrast, established couples have the potential to be
more able to adapt to the conditions of a commuter
marriage (Handayani, 2016) Barnett and Hyde, who
found that long-distance relationships cause
excessive roles or role conflicts and affect the
progress of roles in the work environment and at
home (Roehling & Bultman, 2002) reinforce this.
Conflict in a relationship is very common.
Especially in a long-distance marriage, many small
things can conflict because of the limitations of space
and time that separate them. In this case, a sense of
openness and mutual Trust are needed in
communication.
Commuter marriage has a more significant
challenge because they have to be willing to sacrifice
many things. One of them is a situation that requires
one of the partners to lie, or the message conveyed in
communication is not the truth. The condition of lying
here is done for the common good of the commuter
marriage couple. In certain circumstances, one of the
partners gives the other news in a happy state, but in
reality, one is actually in a bad condition. These things
are considered for the common good. The condition
of couples who are far apart sometimes also causes
jealousy if one of them forgets or does not give news.
However, dishonesty and a lack of Trust can
impact the relationship (Cole, 2001). Emotionally,
couples who cannot channel their feelings to their
partners have a negative impact on the quality of their
relationship. In this study, the psychological impact
that emerged was the absence of a place to release
emotions, which resulted in a sense of loneliness.
This can also have a long-term effect that causes
stress for couples.
Therefore, openness, Trust, and mutual support
between couples are very much needed, especially for
adjusting-type commuter marriage couples who have
just experienced living together and still need warmth
and harmony in a relationship. Trust between couples
is achieved by allowing them to carry out their social
activities. Couples, both husband and wife, can
interact with office friends, go on business trips, or do
hobbies with their community. However, in carrying
out these activities, the couples still give each other
news to grow a sense of Trust in each other even
though they are separated by distance.
Like most marriages, they have ups and downs
and are hit by various challenges and problems.
Commuter marriages also experience this. The