Aceh Gayo’s Parenting Style

Nurbaiti

, Mahyudin

and Rena Latifa

UIN Syarif Hidayatullah Jakarta, Indonesia

STAI AL-Hikmah Jakarta, Indonesia

Keywords: Parenting Style in Gayo’s Family, Gender Biased in Gayo, Gayo’s Tribe

Abstract: This research explores Parenting Style in Gayo’s Family. Using qualitative methods, 11 respondents are

interviewed and observed their family interaction. Results show that the Gayo’s Children parenting style is

influenced by their traditions and culture. In Gayo’s system, boys are given an important place, because

boys are hereditary descendants and noble titles.

1 INTRODUCTION

The family is the first social environment in

which children can interact, also has a very

important and influential role in the formation and

development of personality. Sharma said family is

the people related by marriage, birth, consanguinity

or legal adoption, who share a common kitchen and

financial resources on a regular basis (Sharma,

2016).

Attitudes of the parents toward the children,

how they communicated to them and creates an

emotional environment, defined as parenting

Richardson and Bradley, 2013). Parenting style is a

complex activity that includes many specific

behaviors that work individually and together to

influence child outcomes (Niaraki and Rahimi,

2014). Therefore, parenting style is the specific

behaviors that influence child outcome such as

childrent’s social competence.

The effect of parenting style may has

consequences in many forms, for instance the child's

personality and learning achievement (Hidayati,

2004). Nam and Chun (2014) also said, parenting

style is an important factor in the development of

children. Thus, parenting style has a significant role

in education.

Education by habituation in accordance with the

theory of tabula rasa expressed by John Lock.

According to Bashayi (2015), in the theory of tabula

rasa, when children were born, children didn’t know

anything, children behavior are based on their

instinctive nature. Education by habituation is also

in accordance with the theory of Thorndike, He

introduced the technique that people learn through

trial and error and in response to certain stimuli

present in the environment

Many factors can affect the parenting style. One

of them is culture. Checa and Guiteres (2018) said,

Culture plays a significant role, so in some contexts

specific parenting styles can be valid, appropriate

and effective, but obsolete in others.

This research supports the Nurture theory.

Nurture is the opposite of Nature, as said by Eagly

and Wood (2013), Nature refers to the structure and

biological processes and Nurture refers to

sociocultural influences. According to Wara and

Munkejord, Nature, may be conceived as a venue

that shapes gender in ways that seem to strengthen

the relationships of heterosexual couples,

particularly through expert–novice relationships

(Wara and Munkejord, 2016).

Etymologically, Nurture means maintenance /

maintenance, training and accumulation of

environmental factors (Khuza’I, 2013). There is a

psychological difference between men and women

not because of nature, but because of the local

culture (Wahyuningsih, 2013). A child's behavior,

wasn’t only developed by nature but it was a form of

cooperation between environment and hereditary

factors (Zaky, 2016). Both nature and nurture factors

influence children’s perspective of gender

stereotypes (Vu, 2016).

Gayo is a tribe in Aceh, majority of the people

are live in Central Aceh, Bener Meriah and Gayo

Lues districts. Gayo’s tribe is strongly influenced by

the traditions and culture. This traditions and culture

also influences their parenting styles. They embrace

a patrilineal system, that is a kinship system that

Nurbaiti, ., Mahyudin, . and Latifa, R.

Aceh Gayo’s Parenting Style.

DOI: 10.5220/0009925512311238

In Proceedings of the 1st International Conference on Recent Innovations (ICRI 2018), pages 1231-1238

ISBN: 978-989-758-458-9

1231

draws the father's lineage. The role of the son is very

special in his kinship system, because boys are the

hereditary descendants and noble titles. In the

Gayo’s community, there are different roles between

boys and girls. In general, women in Gayo are in a

subordinate position to men. It is because the role

and position of women in Gayo society under social

construction, that is built on the basis of people's

understanding of cultural values.

This research focused to questions: (a)

perceptions Gayo’s family about their culture, (b)

and practices of parenting style in Gayo’s family.

2 LITERATURE REVIEW

2.1 Parenting Style

Parenting style is the parents’ behavior in their

interaction with the children, including the parents’

behavior when they want to show their power or

whenever parents want to give attention to their

children whishes.

2.1.1 Definition of Parenting Style

Parenting can be defined as parents’ activities in

helping their child to bring forth, parenting process

combines all the activities of the parents that

intended to support their children’s wellbeing

(Gafoor and Kurukkan, 2014). According to Checa

and Gutierrez (2017), parenting style is

conceptualized as the attitudes of the parents toward

the child that are communicated to him or her and

creates an emotional environment.

Parenting style is a complex activity that

includes many specific behaviours that work

individually and together to influence child

outcomes (Niaraki, 2013). Therefore, parenting

style is the specific behaviours that influence child

outcome such as children’s social competence.

Thus, the parenting style is the parents’ attitude

to educate, guide, discipline and protect their

children, so their children have norms that are

owned by society in general.

According to Rhamdani (2013), the dimensions

of parenting style are education, guidance, control

and warmth. The control dimensions are

Restrictiveness, Demandingness, Strictness,

Intrusiveness and Arbitrary Power Assertion

(Rhamdani, 2013). Thus, the dimension of parenting

style are: education, guidance, warmth and control.

Table 1. Dimension and Sub dimension of Parenting Style

Dimension Sub Dimension

Education Knowledge

skill

Guidance Religion

Good Attitude

Warmth Care

Graceful

Productive Communication

Control Restrictiveness

Demandingness

Strictness

2.1.2 Kinds of Parenting Styles and Its

Implications to Children Outcome

According to Ren and Edward (2015), parents'

expectations for social-emotional development and

children's parenting style influence children's social

competence. Parenting style for children has a large

influen on children’s behavior (Hoskins, 2014).

Parents and their parenting style has a significant

influence on children’s achievement (Kordi, 2010).

Parenting style has a very important role for the

development of children moral behavior. The

development process through education at school

only needs to continue with the existing

development (Jannah, 2012).

There are four parenting styles that is:

autoritative, authoritarian, permissive and negligent

(Gafoor and Kurukkan, 2014). While Mensah and

Kuranchie (2013) said there are three parenting

style, that: autoritative, authoritarian and permissive

(Mensah and Kuranchie,2013). Three types of

parenting style authoritative, authoritarian and

permissive are explained by Swaroopa (2014).

The permissive parenting style is referred as

the parenting style of parents’ negligent with a low

level of discipline (Niaraki and Rahimi, 2013).

Permissive parenting style give their children the

freedom to do and monitor their own activities

(Hasnain, Faraz and Adlakha, 2013).

The authoritative parenting style, supports the

development and boost of many abilities and skills

implicated in academic achievement (Bibi et.al.,

2013). While authoritarian or dictatorial parenting

style is a rough upbringing, lacking warmth and

giving high discipline (Niaraki & Rahimi, 2013) and

permissive parenting style is a child-centered

parenting style and parents are very tolerant of

children's actions (Checa and Gutierrez , 2018).

According to Checa and Gutierez, authoritative

parenting style is a responsive parenting style for

children, being open in communicating and giving

confidence to children, while authoritarian parenting

ICRI 2018 - International Conference Recent Innovation

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is a parenting style characterized by strict rules that

must be obeyed by children (Checa and Gutierez ,

2018).

Parenting style affects children's lives, as Bibi

et.al (2013) said, parenting style has a significant

impact on children's achievement and psychological

development. Authoritative parenting style has a

positive impact on student achievement (Seth and

Ghormode, 2013) and the children with an

authoritative parenting style have social

relationships much better than authoritarian

parenting styles (Levinson, 2017).

2.2 Gayo’s Tribe

Gayo is a tribe in Highland in Aceh. Gayo’s

tribe have an own culture. Gayo’s people have their

own cultures, arts, traditions and other socio-

cultural activities ( Khaironi, Soesilowati and Arsal,

2017). Gayo’s tribe has a authoritarian in parenting

style, because they are patrilineal and patriarchy

system.

Patrilineal and patriarchy, although it's basically

has a slightly different meaning. Patriarchy is a

social system in which the male is the primary

authority figure central to social organization and

where fathers hold authority over women and

children (Okoroafor and EBJ Iheriohanma, 2014).

2.3 Gender Biased

The concept of gender is different from sex,

sex is biological and gender is society’s role, even

though they are in daily conversation sex and gender

can be exchanged.

2.3.1 Definition of Gender Biased

Gender biased is the unfair division of

positions and roles between men and women.

Women have a role in domestic sector, in contrast to

a men have a role in the public sector (Goswami,

2013). Gender biased is defined as the division of

roles and unfair positions between men and women

(Wibowo, 2011). Gender biased is the difference in

roles based on sex (Mahadeva, 2012). Thus gender

biased is the difference role between men and

women base on their sex.

2.3.2 The Kinds of Gender Biases’

Parenting Style

Gender discrimination usually occurs because

indeed cultural factors that have existed for a long

time, besides that, forms of gender injustice also

originated from a misunderstanding of gender in the

society. For instance, gender discrimination in work

are: the marginalization, or the removal of women in

employment, the position of women who were

subordinate in social culture (subordinate) and

stereotypes or labeling between women's work and

men's work.

Mutawakil also said, gender biased often occur

in the community are: marginalization,

subordination and negative stereotypes (Mutawakil,

2014). Marginalization is an oppression, where

people are throw out from participation in their

social life (Duchak, 2014).

While stereotypes can be defined in different

ways. In a gender perspective, Stereotypes defined

as labeling, it can be define as application of a strict

role between the men’s and women's roles.

Subordination is the action of the community that

places women in a lower position than men (Suarni,

2016).

3 RESEARCH METHOD

3.1 Demographic Information

The sample of this study was 11 family. They

were all Gayo’s family live in Jabodetabek. We use

qualitative research method with snowball sampling

technique to recruite the participants. Data analysed

with triangulation.

3.2 Measurements

Participants interviewed by the researchers,

using semi structured questions, questioning their (a)

perceptions Gayo’s family about their culture, (b)

and practices of parenting style in Gayo’s family.

4 RESULTS AND DISCUSSIONS

4.1 Parenting Style and Patriarchy in

Gayo’s Family

Gayo is one of the tribes that live in the region

of Aceh and they have a patrilineal culture and

patriarchy system. Usually In patrilineal also

patriarchy system. Sultana Said patriarchy is a

family system that expresses the natural superiority

of men than women. (Sultana, 2011).

Aceh Gayo’s Parenting Style

1233

Patriarchy or patrilineal can be understood as

men are very powerful in controlling other women

and men and in the social-constructivism model,

thera are inequality between men and woman. In the

patrilineal system women are in a secondary

position.

This research has been done to Gayo’s family

living around Jakarta, Bogor, Depok, South

Tangerang and Bekasi (Jabodetabek).

The result show, in daily activities the father

gets treated more special than the mother. It can be

seen among other things: the existence of a father's

cup, father's plate, father's bowl, father's seat and

other personal things owned by father.

Related to this, when we are eating together, the

father sits in the upstream position (in Gayo: uken)

and other family members downstream (Gayo: Toa).

Dad's position cannot be occupied by the other

family members.

Furthermore, Our respondent also said if the son

in the family was married, he has a special serve

after the father, While unmarried boys, girls and

mothers are in the same position.

Differences in family attitudes toward father

and mother are due to gender differences, which

impact on gender inequality. Mother has in an

inequivalent position to the father, because the

mother is a woman. It happens because in a society

where men dominate women.

As Shastri said that women are discriminated in

societies that dominate men and discrimination are

influenced by cultural norms and traditions,

religions, regions, etc. Biologically and

sociologically both are treated differently (Shastri,

2014).

This research also indicated, the Gayo’s family,

culturally female in subordinate. Mother's position

isn’t equivalent to father. Father is served, mother

and daughters serve.

It also indicates, there has been a gender biased

in the Gayo’s family, because the mother shouldn’t

be in the same position as the father. For example, if

there are special items for the father, why there

aren’t special items for the mother.

Goswami said, gender discrimination usually

occurs in situations that refer to the heavy workload

of women and many overlapping tasks involved,

which, if calculated in hours, will be more than 24

hours (Goswami, 2013).

This workload consists of unpaid reproductive

work, paid productive employment, and all other

domestic work required for family survival. Thus,

differences in treatment between men and women in

the Gayo’s family suggest there has been a gender

biased in the family.

4.2 Role in the Family

Division of roles in the family is very important,

because with the division of roles, it will create a

family of mutual respect and sharing. There are two

theories relating to the opposite theories of male and

female roles, namely the theory of nature and the

theory of nurture.

The results of research obtained that the Gayo’s

family have a division of roles between men and

women by sex. The division of roles is not based on

the consideration of the ability, but more encouraged

by the factor of the position of men.

All mens work in considered to be honorable,

because men are leaders (Imem) in their family.

Thus, the division of men's and women's work is not

free will, but the result of community construction.

In Gayo’s family, there is a significant dividing

role between the domain of men's work and the

domain of women's work. Men work is in the public

domain, while women work in the domestic domain.

Domain of women in the domestic, that are:

washing clothes, washing dishes, cooking, serving

food and other household chores, as well as

education in formal schools of course. Boys are not

taught about the domestic work. This is based on the

assumption, the domain of men's work is the public

sphere rather than the domestic domain. The role

difference between women and men is a form of

gender biased.

Risnawati stated the role of women in the

domestic domain are the role of women as wives and

and as mothers, so that including the domestic

domain are: serving the needs of husbands both in

the kitchen (cooking and preparing dishes), wells

(washing clothes, taking care of all family needs),

and biological needs of the husband, as a mother,

women must be able to meet their needs, including

educating children to behave well.(Risnawati, 2016)

The role of men as public workers in Gayo’s

family, can be done together with the women too,

The occupation of Gayo’s women who live in

Jabodetabek in the public domain is as a teacher, as

a Civil Servant and entrepreneur.

The difference in the division of roles between

men and women to Gayo’s families should be based

on the community's constructs and abilities, It’s not

on biological conditions, because of it, the roles can

be exchanged. Thus, it really does not matter and it

is not a family disgrace (big one) if a man works in

the domestic domain, in order to help his wife.

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4.3 The Culture’s Influence to

Parenting Style in Gayo’s Family

The parenting style is influenced by many

factors. One of it is the culture. According to Checa

and Gutierrez, Some empirical studies show that

parenting styles are significantly influenced by

cultural differences and social values (Checa and

Gutierrez, 2018).

Likewise Gafoor and Kurukkan said, parenting

behavior is deeply influenced by culture. The culture

decides the limits of behavior that to be controlled

and praised (Gafoor and Kurukkan, 2014).

Culture has a very close relationship with

society. Cultures, contain social values and norms,

culture is also passed down from one generation to

the next. Thus, parenting style is one of society's

behavior that is influenced by culture.

In Gayo’s family, parenting style according to

their culture. Our respondences said, our parenting

style to our children likewise our family’s before.

In Gayo’s family, the restrictions on women and

men's freedoms are a form of gender inequality and

this has happened in long time ago, so the form of

parenting style is applied to their children as a form

of heritage from their parents.

The difference between men and women is also

related to culture. This distinction is usually

associated with how the cultural constructs of male,

female, role, function, and contribution in social,

political, and cultural life.

Parenting style is the attitude of parents in

raising children. Parenting style is a heritage. The

culture has an effect on parenting styles. From our

interviews to Gayo’s parents also showed that what

they are doing today in parenting is because of their

educated from their parents.

The parenting style in Gayo is a authoritarian’s

parenting style. It can be seen from how parents

inculcate the habits of their children and their

children have to follow the rules that have been

given by their parents.

During this lifestyle is considered to inhibit the

development of the child's personality. Authoritarian

parenting does not interfere with child development,

even authoritarian parenting has a positive impact on

the development of children.

4.4 The Kinds of Gender Biased in

Gayo’s Family

The result show, Gayo’s family has a strick

division of roles, the woman in domestic area and

the men in public area. The men can’t do in

domestic area, because the domestic area is for

women.

The division of roles in Gayo’s family is not

based on the consideration of the abilities possessed,

but rather is driven by the position of men, in this

case the husband. All men's work by the Gayo

community is considered to be respectable, because

men are the leaders of the family. Thus, the division

of male and female work is not free will, but the

result of community construction.

According to the Gayo community, men cannot

do women's work. In the Gayo’s family there is a

significant dividing line between the realm of male

work and the realm of women's work. Men's work is

in the public domain, which means husbands who

earn a living, while women work in the domestic

sphere, which is doing all household chores, such as

washing, cooking, caring for children and other

household chores.

There are two theories that relate to it, the

theory of nature and nurture. Nature theory states the

differences in gender roles stem from biological

differences between men and women. Whereas

nurture theory states that differences in gender roles

between men and women are not a consequence of

natural biological differences, but rather as a result

of social construction, so that the role can still be

exchanged. Thus, there are a gender biased in

Gayo’s family. The men if do the women’s area,

they can find the funishement from their family and

their sociaty,

Biased Gender in Gayo’s families include:

stereotype, double burden and subrordinate. The

following will present gender - biased forms in the

Gayo family: stereotypes, double burden and

subordinate.

4.4.1 Stereotype (Gender’s Labeling)

Gender Stereotype or gender labeling according

to Eagly and Wood (2013), occurs because often a

group of people observe a certain group about what

it does, so it appears that attributes of ability and

personality are typical activities of the group.

Gender stereotype is occurring by social construct.

Thus, this role can be exchange.

It indicates that gender labelling or Gender

stereotypes occur because of community constraints.

In Nurture's theory, the differences role between

men and women are due to sociocultural constraints

and not natural, so gender stereotypes are actually

interchangeable.

Based on our research, it has been done to the

respondents (Gayo’s family) obtained the results,

Aceh Gayo’s Parenting Style

1235

domestic is the women’s domain and the public is

the men’s domain. Women may work in the public

domain, for the sake of helping family welfare.

The result of our reseach show, the men can’t

do the woman’s. it indicate there are a strick

dividing role between men and woman, and it occur

as heritage.

4.4.2 Double Burdent (Double Role)

The woman’s double burden is a woman who

has two jobs done at one time, working at home and

outside the home. It mean they Work in the

domestic’s domain and the public’s domain at the

same time. In this case the women do as mothers, as

wives, as housewives, as educators, as descendants

and as members of the community.

Double burden means the burden of work

received by one sex more than the other. The role of

female reproduction is often considered a static and

permanent role (Hidayati, 2004).

The results of our study show in the Gayo’s

family, women can do in the both domain in the

same time, the domestic domain and the public

domain. Our participants said the domain of women

is the domestic domain, i.e washing, cooking, taking

care of children, and others and the domain of mean

is the the public’s domain. But it becomes a pride for

women (mothers), if they are able to do work other

than in the domestic domain, they are also in the

public domain. The community will consider women

in both domains to be a great women, but in

gender’s perspective, there is no gender justice and

equality. Women work in both domains at once.

The double burden in the Gayo’s family can be seen

in the following table.

Table 2. The Double Burden in The Gayo’s Family

Domain Men Women

Domestik :

 Washing

√

 Cooking

√

 Serving Food

√

 Parenting

√

 Cleaning the house

√

 Etc

√

Public

 Work in the outside

the home

√ √

 Helping Husband in

work

√ √

From the table 2. it can be seen that women

work both in the domestic and public domain, while

men only work in the public domain. It means there

are a women’s double burden in the Gayo’s family.

4.4.3 Subordinate

Domestic work takes a long time, so the

division of time and household chores has important

implications for life outside the home. But in the

division of tasks, women are often placed in a

position that is not profitable, because still the

assumption of work done by women provide

unsatisfactory results, such as in decision-making or

doing other work that women can do it the same as

men.

Subordination occurs because of the assumption

that women have lower ability than men, so women

are placed in non-strategic position (second Person).

Subordination shows the inferior position of women,

lack of access to resources and decision making. It

happens because of the power of men towards

women, so the women become powerless (Sultana,

2011).

The result show in the Gayo’s family women in

subordination, especially in decision making. The

women voices is very meaningless. The father has a

very dominant role in the family and the mother

become the second person. The father's voice and

decision must be heard by all the members’ family

and the the mother must to do the decision that has

been decided by the father.

The Gayo’s family is the patrilineal system and

the women is in subordination. It indicate the

patrilineal system has placed the father's position to

be very dominant and superior in the family. The

rights of mothers are lost and mothers become the

inferior family members.

Sultana said the patrilineal’s system makes the

men superior, thus the patriarchal system becomes a

cause of women’s subordination. The patriarchal

society gives men absolute priority. and patriarchy

also makes to male domination even in the public

and domestic domain.

5 CONCLUSION

This study shows that the parenting style of

Gayo’s is an inherited behavior that is passed from

one generation to the next. Thus, the pattern of

parenting style is culturally inherited from their

ancient.

ICRI 2018 - International Conference Recent Innovation

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Gayo’s family who live in Jakarta, Bogor,

Depok, Tangerang and Bekasi (Jabodetabek) is still

using Gayo’s culture for their parenting style. The

form of parenting style that applied is the pattern of

authoritarian’s parenting style. Moreover, this form

of parenting style is constructed by the culture.

Another finding is: an existence of gender bias

in Gayo family parenting style. Strict roles are

happening between men and women. In handling

domestic area are obligated only for women, while

men prohibited in doing all domestic chores. Men

holding an obligation to go outside the house, for

example to have a work outside the house. Women

may also go outside house to find a job, but she

should obey to do the domestic chores. This

condition of gender biased, mentioned as: stereotype

(labeling), double burden, and subordinate.

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