Four Inter-Ethnic Marriages of Two Chinese–Kaili Couples and Two

Arab–Kaili Couples

Study Hybrid Identity

Moh. Kurniadi Hendry Ekodiyanto

Muh. Abduh Dwi Putra

, Moh. Fajar Agustian

and Rosmawati

Student in Postgraduate of Forensic Science, Universitas Airlangga, Surabaya, Indonesia

Department of Anthropology, Faculty of Social Science and Political Science, Tadulako University, Palu, Indonesia

Keywords: Hybrid Identity, Kaili Ethnic, Marital Adjustment.

Abstract: Marriage is the process of forming a new family and social relationship. In the past, the Kaili community

was aware of endogamy marriage system, which does not allow to do marriage with ethnicity other than

Kaili. But, with the development of era, ethnicities such as ethnic Chinese and Arabs have entered the Kaili

ethnic or Kaili ethnic settlements. Ethnic societies have occurred, and today, there are many who make

different ethnic marriages. The purpose of this study is to describe the differences in ethnic marriage

problems where different ethnic marriages often occurred in the Kaili ethnic community. The research

subjects were four different ethnic couples - the marriage of two Chinese-Kaili couples and two Arab-Kaili

couples. This descriptive research was conducted by collecting the information through passive and active

observation followed by the interview with the subject. Data analysis was conducted by grouping data from

observations, interviews, and field notes and then interpreted. The results obtained from this study were

from the four different ethnic couples. The majority have obstacles related to the blessing of parents and

family, but thanks to the beliefs and efforts of each pair to convince parents and family, the marriage can be

done. This happens due to of differences in culture and point of view on life. Therefore, in this case, marital

adjustment is required. The greater the cultural differences, the greater the difference in communication

both in language and in nonverbal cues. Thus, it can be concluded that communication is the main thing

required in the matter of adjusting different ethnic marriages.

1 INTRODUCTION

Marriage is the process of forming a new family and

social relationship. When a man and a woman

marry, each of them brings their own cultural values,

attitudes, beliefs, and styles of adaptation into their

marriage (Haviland, 2017). Marital adjustment is the

process which the married couple adjusts their

behavior, personality, and even the way of life that

has previously become the habit of self (Kessing,

1991). In marriage, it is also united two different

cultures, different backgrounds, different tribes

(Koentjaraningrat, 2002).

In the past, the Kaili community (which is tribe

from Central Sulawesi) was aware of endogamy

marriage system. A marriage that does not allow to

marry with ethnicity other than Kaili. However, with

the development of the era, ethnicities such as

Chinese and Arabs have entered Kaili ethnic or Kaili

ethnic settlements. Ethnic societies have occurred,

and today, there are many who make different in

ethnic marriages.

In Chinese families, men are considered very

valuable, as the successor of the family (Skinner in

Afif, 2012). In Chinese society, families play a big

role in preserving culture because family is the

institution that supports upholding and preserving

Chinese cultural practices. The Chinese, despite

expressing liberal views on relations between ethnic

and interfaith, do not like mixed marriages. When a

member of a Chinese family marries someone from

another ethnic or religious group, that person is

considered "missing" from the family (Hefner,

2007).

Arab descendants have spread throughout all

parts of Indonesia, and its existence continues to

grow and develop in Indonesia. This is because of

the strong tradition of retaining descent by means of

a marriage like sekufu' (fellow Arabs) (Suroyyah,

Ekodiyanto, M., Putra, M., Agustian, M. and Rosmawati, .

Four Inter-ethnic Marriages of Two Chinese â

A ¸S Kaili Couples and Two Arab â

A ¸S Kaili Couples.

DOI: 10.5220/0007554209310934

In Proceedings of the 2nd International Conference Postgraduate School (ICPS 2018), pages 931-934

ISBN: 978-989-758-348-3

931

2014). With the rapid development and the existence

of modernization everywhere, the Arab community

especially in Indonesia, are seemed not to collapse

by the flow of modernity. Sekufu's marriage

tradition is maintained in their own way.

Ethnic marriage is an inter-ethnic marriage. It is

a process of unifying various ethnic groups

biologically and forming a new generation with

hybrid character traits. By looking at Chinese and

Arabic ethnic phenomena and traditions that have

been explained previously, then there must be some

problems occurred when Kailis married the

ethnicities that mentioned above. Hence, authors

conducted this research to study and describe what

problems occurred in inter-ethnic marriages, which

are Chinese-Kaili couples and Arab-Kaili couples.

2 MATERIALS AND METHODS

The purpose of this study was to describe different

ethnic marriage problems where different ethnic

marriages often occurred in the Kaili ethnic, a

community in Palu, Central Sulawesi.

The research subjects were four inter-ethnic

couples - the marriage of two Chinese-Kaili couples

and two Arab-Kaili couples in Palu. This descriptive

research was conducted by collecting the

information through passive and active observation

followed by interview with the subject.

Data collection was conducted in qualitative

approach. Selecting the informants was conducted

by purposive sampling, which is choosing certain

people who can provide data or in-depth

information. Data analysis method was conducted by

editing data of observation result, interview, and

field record, and then categorized the data according

to problem formulation, interpreting data, and drew

the conclusion.

3 RESULTS AND DISCUSSIONS

Marriage is a very sacred bond, whether it is a

physical bond or an inner bond and as a process of

unification between two distinct individuals from

different cultures, customs, values, traits and family.

Practically, in the community, it is very rare for

families to marry their children with different tribes

because the strata in different tribes may be lower or

higher. Thus, it becomes a personal insult to the

family shall their descent married to a lower strata or

social class. Therefore, the process of marriage

adjustment in an inter-ethnic marriage is presumably

not easy and has many obstacles.

Marital adjustment is a process of adaptation

between the married couples such as making

communication adjustments, adjustment of living

together, adjustments with the partner's family, and

any adjustments that aim to avoid conflicts within

the household.

The results obtained from this study were from

the four different married couples. The majority

have obstacles related to the blessing of parents and

family about their marriage. In the first Chinese-

Kaili couple, the woman's father initially did not

approve their marriage because he thought the age of

the couple was considered too young to marry.

Whereas there is no law in Indonesia that regulates

the age limit of a person to marry. While, the second

Chinese-Kaili couple, one who did not approve their

marriage was from the woman’s family, not her

parents. However, since they came from the same

Church, so, the woman’s family saw and judged that

their spiritual attitudes were good. That was the

reason why the marriage was finally approved. As

Hefner (2007) has pointed out that Chinese

considers religious issue in determining one to be

married. Therefore, the second Chinese-Kaili

couple, the family finally blessed because they saw

the religious similarity of the couple.

Then a different thing happened to the first Arab-

Kaili couple, where they did not experience the

disagreement from both families considering that

they have known and close each other for a long

time. While in the second Arab-Kaili couple, there

was a conflict between the two families because they

came from two different ethnics. It cannot be denied

because the Arab tradition is known to hold the rule

that the marriage of the descendant of children must

be with fellow Arabs. Even the man’s family had a

desire to matchmaking him, the determination and

desire of the couple lies in the assurance to the

families that their marriage will run smoothly and

well due to the good faith of both.

The same thing can be seen in the previous

research by Ali (2011). He stated that there is a

prohibition for a sharifah (woman in Arabs sayyid)

in the case of marriage to non-sayyids by reason of

maintaining a descendant who has been attached to a

sharifah. Arab descendants assume that marriage

that occurs with sharifah with non-sayyids will

destroy the attributes of their descent. Whereas for

sayyid men who are married to non-sharifah women

have no influence on their descent because men

carry lineage or patriarchal traditions.

ICPS 2018 - 2nd International Conference Postgraduate School

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In another previous study by Rizkiati (2012), it is

mentioned in the results of her research that

endogamy marriage is maintained because of the

background of culture that is hold firmly by Arab

descendants. The strong desire to maintain her

identity as an Arab descendant by limiting the

selection of partners in marriage. The efforts to

purify blood descent, trust, and security of the

property are maintained. In addition to marriages

carried out on the basis of emotional or mutual love,

the parents also has an important role in the selection

process of mate, namely by conducting a

matchmaking system. Therefore, it is not surprising

that in the second Arab-Kaili couple, the man’s

family had intended to arrange his marriage with the

candidate whom chosen for him.

From the facts mentioned above, in different

ethnic marriages, the problem tends to come from

before the marriage. Thus, pre-marital adjustment is

required. This pre-marital adjustment apart from the

couple's determination in convincing parents and

family also concerns the role of the couple's family.

Judging from the processes of the four couples

above, it appears that their family can solve the

problems that arise well. Thus, a good settlement

can make harmony in the family. A good marital

adjustment is characterized by the ability of family

members to understand the different views between

their family members. A good adjustment will be

achieved in this way compared to if one member of

the family has to give up or dissent is silenced.

Another main problem in communication

between different ethnic marriage is the adjustment

of communication patterns that require mutual

understanding between one another due to cultural

differences. If there is no mutual understanding

between different ethnic groups when these two

types of culture are united, then miss-

communication often arises. This difficulty could

lead to more communication errors, more sentence

errors, more likely misunderstandings, and more

misperceptions. If this is applied to the world of

marriage (household), the more cultural differences

between the two partners, the harder it is to adapt to

a marriage. In addition, the more differences

between the two extended families, the difficulty of

adapting would increase because basically a large

family (tribal family) is very influential on

individuals. This indicates that problems in marriage

would be more complex, especially if

communication is unhealthy. For this reason, mutual

understanding of each other's culture is absolutely

necessary to minimize this problem. Though it

cannot be denied that mutual understanding of a

partner's culture does not guarantee freedom from

misunderstanding (arising out of feeling offended)

for culturally different partner.

Every couple who has been married would very

much hope to be formed and increased a

psychological well-being, but, it is very difficult to

achieve if the marriage comes from two different

cultures. In terms of dimensions, couples married to

different cultural backgrounds would find it difficult

to make full acceptance of their spouses and

extended family because the person has a very

different principle from others.

Parental treatment of children born to different

ethnic marriages is also necessary, especially to

introduce every element of behavior from the two

different cultures, such as cultural background,

communication and so on which can be embedded in

children to become the reference of the cultural

recognition both parents. Both parents must

understand how to educate children, to make both

parents’ cultures well-known by the children.

4 CONCLUSIONS

Marital adjustment is not an absolute state but a

continuous process. Adjustment of inter-ethnic

marriage is a process of bringing the differences that

exist between couples with different ethnic

backgrounds in the form of culture, life view,

adjustment to life or new things, and adjustments to

communication. Thus, happiness and hope in

marriage can be fulfilled. The greater the cultural

differences, the greater the challenge in

communication both in language and in nonverbal

cues. Thus, it can be concluded that communication

becomes the main thing required in the matter of

adjusting different ethnic marriages.

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